i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
