No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
