Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
