Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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