idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
