he puts the penis in happiness.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
