And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
