i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
