Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
