I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
