hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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