I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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