why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
be right there i have to get my cape
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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