Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry my hands just texted you
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
