ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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