sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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