I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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