and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
