I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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