Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
