I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize