WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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