We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize