That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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