In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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