Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
