I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
