My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
