My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
