I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
