It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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