i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
