My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
