i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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