I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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