I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
