i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
