The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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