I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
and she was petting her beer can
two words: eviction party
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dick very happy bro
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
