you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize