I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
