well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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