week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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