i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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