I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
