There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
