I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize