How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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