You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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