The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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