sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize