if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize