Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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