So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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