Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize