what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
