I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
