Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
