ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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